Painful
by Ferrety
Summary: Ichimatsu discovers Karamatsu is up at night often.
**A/N: Enjoy the fic! It's my first Osomatsu-san one. Please tell me if you see any errors!**

He knew.

Ichimatsu knew about the bags under Karamatsu's eyes, the stains under his cheeks, and the clenching of his fist. He could see through his fake smile, his arrogant laughter, and his ridiculous poses.

Perhaps the reason no one else seemed to notice his eyes was due to the expensive shades his idiot brother wore. The shades were so dark it would put Ichimatsu's heart to shame. Sometimes, he wondered how he could even see in those things. Ichimatsu never really understood why Karamatsu wore such blinding objects for fashion.

That was, until he considered the fact Karamatsu wore them to conceal the pained state he hid.

At first, Ichimatsu dismissed the tired look on his brother's face every morning as a hungover reaction. After all, Shittymatsu drank way too often (and never paid his tab as well).

However, the thought was still enough to keep Ichimatsu up at night. While the rest of his brothers laid tranquilly dreaming, his mind continued to wander in the dead of the night. One particular thought slightly disturbed him.

 _What if the reason he drank so much was because…_

No. Not Karamatsu. There was no way someone so happy, so bright, so _arrogant_ , would be in so much pain. His shitty brother smirked way to much to be in distress. After all, it was his brother he'd been with for over twenty years. He'd definitely know if he was.

Right?

Still, the dark circles under Karamatsu's eyes seemed well too familiar to Ichimatsu. How long had they been there? The longer he pondered, the more apparent a problem formed in his mind. Did he really know his brother…?

Ichimatsu's train of thought was interrupted as Karamatsu rose up from his spot suddenly. It was so inaudible, he almost didn't notice. Did he even sleep? Staring right ahead, Ichimatsu watched his brother quietly tiptoe closer to the door. There wasn't a single sound to be heard. Ichimatsu opened his mouth to protest, but bit his lip. When Karamatsu was out of sight, he silently walked to the door as well, copying his brother's movements. Before opening the door, Ichimatsu glanced at his brothers. All of them were peacefully sleeping. Todomatsu had even spread his arms onto Karamatsu's spot.

None of them had any idea.

Ichimatsu only had to walk a few steps away from the bathroom for his brother to notice him. Karamatsu flinched and stopped walking. He sheepishly grinned a split second later.

"I'm sorry, my brother. It seems I have woken you up," Shittymatsu smirked, throwing finger guns at Ichimatsu. Did his smile always look so...fake?

Ichimatsu wanted to ask so much, to ask if his brother was in pain, if it was _his_ fault…

"S-Shittyma-," he began, quickly stopping midway. What kind of conversation starter was _that_?

Ichimatsu knew he was never one for talk. Hell, the longest string of words he'd ever said are probably less than two sentences worth. Conversation was just not his forte, and comforting was even worse. Fuck, he had no idea what to do to do. Frantically searching for the right words, Ichimatsu nervously fidgeted as his brother watched him carefully. He had to continue talking _somehow_.

"A-Are you okay?" He finally asked.

Fuck.

Karamatsu froze. Great. Although he was still slightly smiling, Shittymatsu's expression was completely unreadable. He really didn't know his brother.

"My dear brother," Shittymatsu began, breaking the long pause. His voice was painfully deep. "Could it be… you're caring about me?"

Ichimatsu scowled, surprised by his response. "Wh-! No!" He tried to help, and look where it got him. Now he's a _Karamatsu Boy_. Fuck. "I j-just-!"

"I appreciate the concern," Karamatsu interrupted. "But you should sleep too, brother. You need it."

"And you don't?" Ichimatsu shot back. He knew Karamatsu was trying to send him off; he had tried this multiple times before. "You look like you need it more than me."

A long silence followed.

Ichimatsu couldn't take it. "Karamatsu," he said, coming off more angry than he intended.

Karamatsu's smile flickered. "I'm fine. Really."

"You're not," Ichimatsu contradicted. _He had said those words once._

"Could it be you suddenly have a change of heart?" Karamatsu joked, his fake deep voice faltering.

"Why were you up so late?" Ichimatsu asked, ignoring the question.

He silently wondered to himself if he was handling the situation right. Why did it have to be _him_ to discover this? His brothers would clearly be able to help Karamatsu more than himself. Anyone would be a better candidate than his own garbage self. Who usually comforts the group of NEETs when they're all down, anyway?

Karamatsu.

The conclusion startled Ichimatsu. It was Karamatsu. Karamatsu, the stupid arrogant brother. Karamatsu, the one who always gets ignored. Karamatsu, the brother who never had a breakdown. He realized it was no longer "How long did Karamatsu hide his pain?".

"How long…"

A few words slipped from his mind. Ichimatsu continued anyway. "How long have I decided to ignore you…?"

Dumbfounded, Karamatsu stared at Ichimatsu. It didn't sound like Ichimatsu at all. Hell, it didn't even sound like Ichimatsu to Ichimatsu himself. What was he thinking, saying a stupid thing like that.

But nonetheless, the words hung in the air.

A tear rolled down Karamatsu's cheek. Several more followed.

Ichimatsu stepped back in surprise, his hands nervously twitching. Fuck, what is he supposed to do? He awkwardly patted his brother on the back. "I'm...sorry?..."

"No, I'm sorry," his brother quietly whispered.

His brother let out a loud sob, and for the rest of the night, cried.

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed Ichimatsu's many thoughts and cursing. Leave a review on your way out.**


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